If I Could Be Like That"
by Vicki1
Summary: Ok, this is my 1st attempt at a Song Fic. It's based on Three Doors Down's "If I Could Be Like That" (hence, the name) . The song reminded me of some of the feelings the characters might've felt during the series. It's not bad, but it's nothing special


This is my first attempt at a Song Fic, and an NGE fan fic at that. In the past I've written  
things about Digimon, GW, and Reboot, so this is a little new for me (and a bit difficult).   
I think I did an ok job on this. I just wanted to write it for fun. The song it's based on   
(Three Door Down's "If I Could Be Like That") because when I heard it, it reminded me of some   
of the feelings the characters might have felt during the course of the series. Well, it's   
nothing special, but I don't think it's awful, or bad or anything. It's short, though, so  
please read and review...oh yeah! I'm also working on a real NGE fic...sort of an alternate   
ending/reality to the original series (ok, I'll be the first to admitt I was never actually pleased   
with the way it ended...lol! I grow attached), and I'm almost done with the first part, so   
maybe you might want to check it out...it think it's pretty good. LOL! Well, that's it. I  
hope you like this...though, I think I've written better. LOL!   
  
  
He spends his night in California  
Watching the stars on the big screen  
Then he lies in awake and wonders  
Why Can't that be me?  
  
Kensuke carelessly flipped through the channels as he heard the clock chime  
midnight. His eyes were growing tired, but they flung open when something on the tv  
caught his attention; a war film. He sat up in his bed and raised the volume a few notches.   
Watching as the soldiers on the screen fought with bravery and dignity, he could almost  
imagine himself being amongst the bloody, but glorious battle. Even being the hero. But  
that would never happen, he thought, yet I can almost imagine it...Private Aida-No!   
General Aida.   
"Ready Troops! Attention! Charge!" He said aloud, rising from his bed.   
Suddenly a commercial came on, and he realized he was only alone in his room.   
Frowning, he sighed, "Retreat troops." Slouching back on his bed, he waited for the film  
to resume. As it did, Kensuke watched as the General on the screen charged toward his  
enemy waving his nations flag with unyielding pride as his men rallied behind him.   
Kensuke eyes glistened with envy and awe as he asked himself with a sense of despair,  
why can't that be me?   
  
Cause in his life he's filled with all these good intentions.  
He's left a lot of things he'd rather not mention right now.  
But just before he says goodnight,  
He looks up with me with a little smile and he says  
  
Touji gazed out his window at the starry sky. The clock on his dresser read 12:06  
AM. He knew he should be asleep, with school in the next morning, but he couldn't find a  
way to drift off into a peaceful slumber. His gaze wandered from the window to the floor  
where his school books laid. I could do my homework, he thought but then shook his  
head, yeah right, like that's gonna happen. Touji then looked over at his desk, and his  
eyes set their gaze upon a picture. Mari, he thought, is that's what's bothering me? I  
wish she was home...I wish...  
Touji looked up at the sky again with a little smile and said "God, now I know I  
don't usually talk to you and I've done some stuff I'd rather not mention right now, but if  
you could...maybe...I don't know. I just want Mari home. I want my little sister healthy  
again. Like everybody else. That's all...I guess..." He sighed frustrated, "This is stupid!   
Like this is going to help! It's hopeless! Utterly hopeless. I don't even know why I  
bother...still...if only...if only..."   
  
If I could be like that   
I'd give anything  
Just to live one day   
in those shoes.  
If I could be like that,   
What would I do?   
What would I do?  
  
Shinji walked into the kitchen at 12:11 AM. He searched the refrigerator for  
something to calm his nerves, but it was pointless. "Isn't there anything in this apartment  
besides beer?" He muttered to himself, depressed. Why did I dream that, he asked  
himself as he sat down at the table, aren't I happy with the way things are? No, I suppose  
I'm not...and it was such a nice dream.  
Shinji began recalling the dream, piece by piece, and began to long he was there.   
Misato was there as their teacher, almost the same, except for the fact that she didn't have  
to worry about being a officer at NERV anymore. He was sitting with Touji and Kensuke  
toward the back, and they joked around while the girls glared at them with disapproving  
looks. Shinji had nothing to worry about-no Evas to pilot, no angels to fight, and only a  
father who loved him. It was all he wanted. He was just normal, like everybody else. But  
then I woke up, he sighed, and I was back here. But if I could be like that. Just If I could  
live one days in those shoes. What would I do?   
  
Now and dreams we run.  
  
Shigeru strummed on his guitar as the clock turned to 12:13 AM. He couldn't  
sleep even if he wanted to so he sat in his living room. Humming, along with the guitar, a  
tune he wrote himself, Shigeru couldn't help but think of Maya. After all, he had written  
the song for her, though she never heard it.  
And she never will, he told himself, because she's got to notice me before I play  
some embarrassing song for her, and that's never going to happen. Shigeru sighed and  
felt a hopeless feeling swell within him. I should just tell her, shouldn't I?, he questioned,  
why can't I just tell her? I'm just too shy. I'll only allow myself to dream about it,  
because I'm a coward. Now and in dreams I run.   
  
She spends her days up in the North park,  
Watching the people as they pass.  
And all she wants is just a little piece of this dream,  
Is that too much to ask?  
  
Asuka woke up with a jerk from another nightmare at around 12:19AM. She  
looked around and noticed Shinji was missing. Stupid dork probably had to go to the  
bathroom, she thought bitterly, wishing he was there to comfort her. Feeling tears come  
to her eyes, Asuka fought them back and wiped her eyes. Envy began to fill her, as she  
remembered being back at home, and watching people pass through her bedroom window.  
No, children with their parents pass, Asuka thought with hurt, daughters with their  
mothers. Why is life so unfair...why, she got choked up and began to cry, all I wanted was  
a little piece of one of their happy dreams. I just wanted what they had...to be loved and  
cared about...was that too much to ask?  
  
With a safe home, and a warm bed,   
On a quiet little street.  
All she wants is just that something to hold onto,  
That's all she needs.  
  
Rei wouldn't allow herself to sleep. It was cold in her dingy apartment and she  
stared up at the cracked ceiling. It was 12:24 AM and it had begun raining. Rei listened  
to the rain drops against the window and noticed water slowly seep through the ceiling of  
the top story apartment. The coldness of lonliness suddenly sent a chill down her spine  
and through the rest of her body. It stung her heart and her soul. But nobody will ever  
know, she thought, I will not allow them to.   
Rei closed her eyes. Her imagination began to drift. How I would like to live in a  
safe home, she thought, visualizing it in her mind, with a warm bed on some quiet little  
street. Then, she saw Shinji and his friends. They were at school laughing and smiling;  
having fun. Rei felt a desire to be there, with them, but she could not visualize this. All  
she could feel was isolatation from them and their world. Her eyes darted open and all  
that was there was the cracked ceiling with the seeping water. Only one small tear began  
to fall down her cheek. All I want is just that something to hold onto, she thought to  
herself in a whisper, that's all I need.   
  
If I could be like that,  
I would give anything,  
Just to live one day, in those shoes.  
If I could be like that,   
What would I do?  
What would I do?  
  
Fuyutsuki was still up working at 12:27 AM. He typed away on his computer,  
then went and looked at some paperwork that Commander Ikari had given him the day  
before. Opening the file, he pulled out the top sheet and began reading through it. Soon,  
he felt himself begin to doze off and he could no longer focus on the document that was  
infront of him. Fuyutsuki let out a sigh and thought, well, what else is there for me? It's  
not as if I have a family or wife to go home to.  
Fuyutsuki skimmend through the rest of the document, noticing Commander  
Ikari's signature at the bottom. I'd give anything, he thought with a bit of envy, just to  
live one day in those shoes. Fuyutsuki began to remember when Gendou had been his  
student, along with Yui in college. Yui, he repeated her name in his head with a longing  
for her, if only. But you married Gendou, didn't you Yui? And he got the wife and the  
child and the family. Yet, he didn't appreciate any of it. I guess life just isn't fair,  
Fuyutsuki chuckled, he has even surpassed me in authority. Fuyutsuki's eyes became sad  
and almost regrettful. If only I did something different, he thought to himself, if I could be  
like that, what would I do? What would I do?   
  
I'm falling into this,   
in dreams we run away.  
  
At 12:32 AM, Hikari was awake, but she was still dreaming. Dreaming about  
Touji and what it would be like if he wasn't oblivious to her. Even better, if he felt the  
same way she felt about him. She had painted a picture in her head about what it would  
be like. But Touji just ruins it, Hikari thought, her smile turning to a frown, Asuka's right.   
Why do I even bother?  
There was silence in Hikari's room and she sighed. Because, she thought, her  
smile reappearing, he's so kind. And maybe one day, he will like me...or something. She  
frowned again. I'm falling into this imaginary world again, aren't I? A world that'll only  
exsist in my dreams?, she asked herself, but then again, in dreams we always run away.   
  
If I could be like that,  
I would give anything,  
Just to live one day,  
in those shoes.  
  
Makoto scribbled away at his desk at 12:38 AM. The trash can next to him was  
overflowing with crumbled up pieces of paper. They had all been letters to Misato, but  
none of them had sounded right to Makoto. In midsentence, Makoto took the letter he  
was currently working on and tore it up and through it with the rest. What am I doing?,  
he asked himself, I'm pathetic! A love letter! We're not in high school! Kagi would  
never write something like this...  
He sighed. He wouldn't HAVE to write something like this, he thought bitterly,  
he could just walk in and sweep Misato off her feet. Could? He HAS! And  
me...well...look at me! Makoto let out a groan of self pity and brushed all the stationary  
off his desk. Kagi has it all, he thought with spite, If I could be like that. I'd give  
anything to live just one day in those shoes.  
  
  
If I could be like that,   
What would I do?  
What would I do?  
  
Ritsuko looked at the clock. It read 12:40 AM. What am I still doing here?, she  
thought. She dropped her the papers she was looking at and put her head in her hands,  
exhausted. Because, she rationalized, he wants me here. What else can I do? Otherwise  
he'll forget about me, won't he? Won't he?  
Ritsuko didn't bother to answer herself and let out a sigh. She went back to  
focusing on the work she had before her. However, her thoughts began to drift again. He  
loves her more, doesn't he?, she questioned, with sick sense of realization, he loves that  
girl more than me, doesn't he? She dropped her papers on her desk and buried her head  
in her hands again. He wants them-both of them and you know it. He'll always want  
them. He'll always want Yui...and Rei, the living image of his wife, Ritsuko thought  
bitterely, then what am I for? Just around when he gets bored? If only...if only he cared  
about me the way he did about them. What would I do? What would I do?   
  
If I could be like that,  
I'd give anything  
Just to live one day,  
in those shoes.  
If I could be like that,  
What would I do?  
What would I do?  
  
Misato couldn't sleep that night. At 12:45 AM she was still wide awake. She  
groaned, and rolled over in her bed, trying to find a more comfortable position. Or at least  
one where I can actually sleep, she thought to herself and groaned, I have to be up in less  
than six hours! She buried her head in her pillow and let out a sigh in self pity.   
I wonder what Kagi's doing, she suddenly thought, the idea just popping in her  
head, why did I just think that? She sat up in bed, and shook her head. What's wrong  
with me? Do I love Kagi?, she asked herself, of course I do! Then what's the problem? I  
just want to be happy; I want Shinji to be happy. Why can't we all be happy? Why can't  
I be with Kagi?! If I could for one day have nothing to worry. Be with Kagi and have no  
problems...just live one day in those shoes. I'd give anything...What would I do? Misato  
let out another groan and fell back against her pillow, am I crazy? I can't be with Kagi! I  
must be confused...but what would I do?   
  
If I could be like that,  
  
Kensuke sighed, If only...  
  
I would give anything,  
  
Touji thought, I could...  
  
Just to live one day,  
  
Hikari frowned, be like...  
  
In those shoes.  
  
Rei stared blankly, like that...  
  
If I could be like that,  
  
Fuyutski began to ask himself, what would...  
  
What would I do?  
  
Ritsuko removed her glasses, I do...  
  
What would I do?  
  
Misato groaned, what would...  
  
Falling in,  
  
Asuka felt tears in her eyes, I do...  
  
I feel like I am falling in to this again.  
  
Shinji stared out at the sky, What would I do? 


End file.
